Have you ever been in love? A love so great, so all-encompassing and so fervent that everything else in the world seems a pale shadow in comparison. You wake up with her name on your lips, you sleep with her voice tinkling in your ears, you dream of her and her only. That is how I love my darling Renéesme.
She is as old as me now, and she is a vision. Those almond-shaped eyes, those arched eyebrows, those pale pink cheeks, those lotus-like lips. When she walks, I feel like a moonbeam is gliding towards me; when she talks, it’s like the first summer song of the cuckoo. She is a smart lady too: she knows how deeply and madly I am in love with her, and she makes sure that I get ample opportunities to display my devotion. I do her laundry, cook her meals, clean her home, do her homework and fulfill her every wish. You can only dream of getting a soulmate as lovely as mine!
I think Eddie Boy is kinda happy that I fell for his daughter, though he still can’t let go of the sneaking suspicion that I still have the hots for his wife (I don’t). I see him glowering at me, whenever me and Bells watch Glee (it’s like a ritual for us; we love the songs). He’s always hovering around, making sure I don’t grab his wifey and make out with her. I still love Bella, and I will always love Bella, but just as a friend. Because now my heart and soul are with Nessie. She is the one who makes my world go round, she is the sun that lights up my life, she is the moon that brings me calm and joy.
You wonder how I got so eloquent. Well, I’ve been taking night classes in Creative Writing, taught by Stephen E. Meir, a former pack leader who left the reservation to go see the world, found his soulmate in a gay club owner (she’s not gay herself) and now makes a living writing paranormal fantasy romances. He’s been giving me life lessons as well, teaching me that baring my chest alone will not get me the girl; I have to be sweet, caring, romantic and keep professing my undying love- girls dig that. And that’s how I’ve managed to keep Nessie by my side, coz truth be told, she’s a hottie, and loves to dabble in dudes. I have no problem keeping the dudes away, what with my awesome muscles, but to keep Nessie, I have to be charming as well as macho. It’s a tough job, coz grunting and panting come easy to me, but guitars and poetry don’t. But I’m doing my best. Anything for my Nessie.
Well, gotta go now. Ness will be waking up any moment, and she likes her breakfast in bed. Just wanna say, if you’re a dude, stay away from my girl. If you’re a chick, sorry I don’t dig any girl other than my girl.
Jake
P.S. I still enjoy showing off my hot bod to girls, though!
