Friday, December 24, 2010

Lady Gaga

WHO AM I: Singer

Hiya, all you little monsters! How are u guys? Been to my Monsterball tour? No? What do u mean, no? Dude, u didn’t want to watch me tear off my clothes? R u gay? Hey, I support gays okay, I’m like ur biggest fans. And if u r a les and didn’t come to watch me, then u r not a true les, baby. Have fun this Christmas, kiddos, live it up, Gagas-style!

U Luuuuuuuurrrv me, I know u do. U secretly groove when Pokerface comes on the radio, u’ve got a hidden folder with pics of me in all my awesome costumes, u regularly do a Google search to find out what Gaga is up to. U wanna know whether I’m a girl or a guy or a …? Ha ha, keep on guessing monsters!!

I’m Gaga, Gaga is me. U guys seen Batman, right, the man is the mask and the mask is the man. Same here, baby. There is no Stefanie Germanotta, there is only Gaga. I live the show, man, 24*7, and it’s sooooo much fun. The money, the booze, the dope, they all existed when I danced on bartops too (maybe not as much as there is now), so they’re not much of an inducement. For me, the biggest draw of the Gaga Life is the fame. The biggest thing is being myself in front of thousands of people, being bold, brash, sexy and provocative, and people loving me for it. People going “Ga-ga ga-ga-ga, Ga-ga-ooh-la-la” as I rip off one dress after another. Oh, I just want to live on stage, man, and die in a huge fireball onstage.

So anyways, my lil monsters, u love my outrageous costumes, don’t ya? U got a few crazy costume ideas in ur head too, u fantasize about Gaga dressing up in ur supercool dress and crawling all over ya, while shaking her ass to Paparazzi. Well, I can’t confirm the crawling part, I gotta check my schedule, but u can dress me up. Yup, I’m giving one lucky fan a chance to design an outfit for my tour, one of those many outfits I keep changing in and out of. Winner not only gets to showcase his/her dress on Gaga, but also gets a six month contract with Haus of Gaga to design more shocking outfits. So get busy designing, monsters, and have more than one ready, coz Gaga is coming for ya.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year! Have a happy boozefest!

Mother Monster loves ya all,

Lady Gaga