Friday, January 14, 2011

Selena Gomez

WHO AM I: Actress

Well, Miley's off bonging to high heavens, any mention of Jonas sends Demi into hysterical fits, so it seems like I'm the last Disney princess still standing. WOOO!!! I gotta get my agent to hike my prices, this is a reallllly good opportunity to fleece those Disney suits.

Everything is perfect in Selenaland. I've got three of Demi's movies and two of Miley's, along with two of my own, so ur gonna see a lot of this wizard in the next couple of years. And I'll be taking over Demi's place in Sonny with a Chance; Disney is keeping it secret but the show's gonna focus on Sonny's cousin Bonnie (me!) who joins the cast when Sonny is away doing a movie or sumthin. And my band's gonna go on tour next summer, so save up ur pocket money 4 those tickets!

Ok, m I done with the promotion stuff? Can I please talk bout wat I wanna talk? Yea? Cool. Coz wat I really wanted to talk about was my lil thing with Bieber. I love him. Yes, I'm coming out n saying it loud, the Beebs is my first love, n I'm his. 'Parently he fell 4 me wen he saw my show, n he's been trying to cook up the courage to ask me out 4 a while. So sweet, na? We're so good together, we're Justina, the next Brangelina, except 4 the fact that I'm so much hotter than that wrinkled old shrew. People r making so much about me being 2 yrs older than him, but hey, if Demi Moore can romp around with Ashton, who looks like the kid she had at 18, u got no right to throw stones at me. Age aint the deciding factor, it's how gud u r in kiss n cuddle that makes the diff.

N for all my fans, here’s a special sumthin. Go 2 my website n u’ll find a quest. Answer a few lil questions abt me to prove how big a fan u r, n u can unlock sum doors, d last of which is a safe. N in that safe u’ll find a very special gift: a song Beebs n I sang together. It’s gonna be out in, like, a coupla weeks, but u, my fans, can get a very special preview. No, can’t give ya the whole song, sorry, u’d just leak it online n eat away those billions of dollars I’m gonna make.

Image sourced from here