Sheila Dikshit

WHO AM I: Politician

This is impossible, I say. First that motherf***ing gora messes with my name, MY name. How dare he, that racist, sexist, misogynist pig (yeah, I know a lot of big words; I’m a M.A!)! Gag order or no gag order, I have the right to speak. And speak I will, through this blog, which is not based in India. So I can’t be penalized under Indian laws (or so I say).

Sheila Dikshit

Abdul Karim Telgi

WHO AM I: Fraudster

Note: Don't ask us how we could get a jailed criminal to write for our blog. Suffice to say, we know someone who knows someone who knows Telgi, and as long as he didn't write anything incriminating any politician, the post could be published. And as for the classification of the post, what Telgi did comes under business. Shady criminal business, yes, but still business.

Aiyyo devre, why did I do stamp paper ka dhandha, when I could have earned crores just going into legitimate business like Kalmadi bhai? I wouldn’t have been in jail, I could have worn suit-boot and walked around with Prince Charles, all with crores of rupees in my Swiss bank account. I’m an idiot, I say.

Abdul Karim Telgi

Suresh Kalmadi

WHO AM I: Indian Olympic Committee Chairman

What and all you people said! Aiyyo, Kalmadi is a swindler, Kalmadi is a mafia man, all the money given to Kalmadi to make CWG stadiums has gone into building five-star apartments for the Kalmadi khandaan. I told everybody, you wait and see. The Commonwealth Games will be shining like diamonds, and I was right.

Suresh Kalmadi